We have been bombarded our entire lives with the message to become successful or aim for success. Yet, we hear of supposedly successful people who are deeply unhappy and/or feeling profoundly unfulfilled. Our reaction is to shake our heads in sadness when these stories are told, and then we continue with our lives, chasing after similar success markers. To what degree is success the prize we wish to offer up as the gold medal of life?
In many ways, success is usually perceived as having a lot of something or, at the very least, more than most. According to Merriam-Webster success is “the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame.” That definition is worthy of exploration since success has various facets to ponder. As the definition states, to be considered successful, one must EITHER be wealthy, famous, or respected.
Let’s start with wealth. Years ago, having $100,000 or more in savings could be considered as wealthy, but today that number is substantially more. When taking my business degree courses, one concept that was covered was the present and future value of money. I remember finding the concept interesting then, and now wish I had taken the teachings more seriously. Had I done so, I would have probed the teacher for a more in-depth understanding. Instead, that in-depth education came after school ended. Wealth as a benchmark for success moves with such things as cost of living and dollar values. So, once wealthy, one is obligated to increase their wealth position or risk dropping in status, thus becoming unsuccessful? Something many (certainly my mom) would call a vicious cycle.
Now, let’s turn to respect. Respect is earned, and anyone can garner respect based on how they carry themselves and, most importantly, how they treat others. Since most decent people do receive respect from others, that would seem to equate to most people having attained success as per the Merriam-Webster definition. Now, while that should be good news, it leaves me wondering how many of those “respected” people actually feel successful; especially if they are void of the wealth to accompany the respect.
Finally, fame. This is an interesting component of success and raises a lot of questions such as “on what basis is fame assured?”, “is fame equivocally fame at micro or macro levels, or both?”, “someone who significantly impacts a small locality – can they be deemed as famous?”, etc. Nine out of 15 people acclaiming someone is considered a majority, so the acclaimed person is given fame, thus apparently achieving success.
Going deeper, success is a label we strive to attain and carry like a badge of honour. I struggle to relate to that label because it is one that is subjectively given or applied. Others could consider you a success but, until you agree, I question if you are indeed such. Additionally, one’s perspective of success could differ from another’s perspective. When that is the case, each of you could be chatting about success and be having disparate conversations. The further concern is the societal push, beginning at very young ages, to become successful without the realization of the vagueness of such a request. The vagueness surrounding the concept of “success” makes the very thing we are being pushed to achieve as immaterial. This then leads us to latch on to the quantifiable aspects associated with the state of success. This is done in an attempt to make success seem more plausible and real. Someone driving a Ferrari is deemed as successful, for example, and few will look deeper than the object they drive. The same goes for those having a large home or surrounded by really expensive things. Yet, many who acquire those material things end up living the success lie and living in quiet misery. They are left to figure it all out – the real truth. Some never do. Some die trying, and some do manage to discover that truth and save their lives.
This brings us full circle to the original question asked: to what degree is success the prize we wish to offer up as the gold medal of life? Here is my take… Consider eliminating or ignoring the “success” word. Instead, seek to achieve something important to you each day, week, month, quarter, and year. Anything that is important to you will have purpose and will direct you to live intentionally. Each achievement attained directs you to live exponentially. It will also guide you to become focus-driven and action-oriented. Nothing can be achieved without an action being taken. Someone pursuing achievement of their purpose cannot be living in stagnation. It is impossible. In fact, the truth of the matter is that pursuing your purpose-oriented achievements (small or large) will be living. If you have nothing important to achieve then you are being routine and predictable. You are existing and surviving, but you are not living your life. Achievements drive ambition, and each one attained drives a desire for more. The one caveat is to know your limitations. Knowing how far you are prepared to go will curb many, if not all, of the negative things that can be associated with ambition.
So, rather than aim for success, upload a new directive to aim for one achievement after another that leads to your defined purpose. Aligning to your purpose is a critical prerequisite. Reset your expectations so that when each achievement is checked off, that feeling of accomplishment and delight is success. The truth is that this success can be done without material ornaments. It can be experienced regularly and can lead to more than what is defined by Merriam-Webster. With purpose as the goal post, these incremental successes can lead to sustainable happiness and fulfillment, which is the gold medal of life that we ultimately seek. Let’s face it, in this one life, we are not looking to leave this world successful, we are looking to leave it having accomplished our purpose, having experienced true happiness, and having no regrets because irrespective of the path taken we fulfilled our purpose.
